Tuesday, February 23, 2010
long long time ago.... there was a prince .. who lived desert ... he was the prince of desert and the whole of the world was filled with land.. he had a lover .... a beautifulo princess... they were living happily .... once sandstorm came and the princess was killed ... the prince wept and wept all day long ... all night long... he wept for years.... years..finally his tears became the ocean.. thus was formed the ocean.... and if u want to know the strong love which the prince had for the princess then atleast once we should taste the water of the sea... see how salty it is ...
Manu when he was born......
Its said all babies cry when they are born.. May be when they are born they come into this cold,mean and rough world they feel insecure... Those who do not cry are pinched and made to cry.. Just to give them a feel of this painful ordeal called life.. Well to talk about me i was a baby who never cried and was pinched to cry.... So i belive im still like that untill now... need that extra stimulus to act otherwise im still that careless laidback baby.....
Manu on his first 20 years.....
Lived life in a dream... Didnt know what to do and chased up a lot of things .. was not even sure what he was doing.... and like a blink of an eye time passed.. lots of passing faces and lots of characters... learned lots without knowing what and followed many without knowing why and who.....had equal amount of victories and failures....
Manu inbetween.....
Caring about none... solitary ... My mind is so fast that any one who cannot keep up with me is left behind... people say im not caring... mean selfish... but its not like that... i really care about people and i never wish bad for anyone.... the fact is that im like this .. if u run my speed u run with me.. if you are slower you are forgotten and left behind... no matter who....If you are faster ... i will never accept that you run faster than me.. but deep inside i will admire and make sure that i will be at your pace and will never cause inconvience to you.......
Manu Today ......
Looking at the moon .. i thought of my very tiny childhood days.... how my mother used to make me eat my dinner by making me look at this moon....... and the thoughts of my mother came running to me....
Its the same moon who witnessed the enjoyment which i had with my friends while i was in college ....How we used to roam around at night ... talk about endless things sitting out and pointless arguments...
And this moon beaming at the sea.... i feel how beautiful the colour is ....moonlight on the sea.... black with a little bit of moonlight.. which no great da vinci's canvas can capture.....Now I feel that life is important.... How each creatures are created ... a world in which a ""manu"" cannot be replaced by any other "" manu""....
How i feel that i left out the wonderful time which i was supposed to have on land... im not cursing the sea... but this sea makes me love the land more... so i love this sea more...How im missing the smell of earth when the rains... my earth .. the "nadumuttam" where i my feets got the strength to walk and run.... and how my home and land where i was born knowningly or unknowningly supplied me with all the necessary skills for my life ahead... a good home... good parents.. loving people around.....
How much i feel that i never ever loved back my friends as they used to love me....
How i feel that life was not enjoyed as it was supposed to be enjoyed..... i dont know.....
how i feel.... how i feel to go back in time and enjoy once more this most "intoxicating liquor"" called life....
what i do not know is that whether will this be my feeling when i die.....some say its the most important ... The last thought when you die... its not a lengthy sheet in which you calculate all your success and failures... its just a single thought... may be a smile... a thought "" Ohh .. great .... i lived this life..."" or say a smile... or a long laugh... which encapsulates all the essence that you did here... and i feel that little thought is what u call heaven and hell... a time which is the most important and wich fills the eternity...i would say it expands to fill in the eternal time....
WELL WHAT I WRITE HERE IS NOT ABOUT ME.....
Its about my thoughts which i had on this day....
And in this thoughts you can read me.. my love towards all.... my soul....i cannot gurantee the whole of me... but atleast a little bit of that baby who was born on the 11th of september.. who came into this world without any tears.....
Its said all babies cry when they are born.. May be when they are born they come into this cold,mean and rough world they feel insecure... Those who do not cry are pinched and made to cry.. Just to give them a feel of this painful ordeal called life.. Well to talk about me i was a baby who never cried and was pinched to cry.... So i belive im still like that untill now... need that extra stimulus to act otherwise im still that careless laidback baby.....
Manu on his first 20 years.....
Lived life in a dream... Didnt know what to do and chased up a lot of things .. was not even sure what he was doing.... and like a blink of an eye time passed.. lots of passing faces and lots of characters... learned lots without knowing what and followed many without knowing why and who.....had equal amount of victories and failures....
Manu inbetween.....
Caring about none... solitary ... My mind is so fast that any one who cannot keep up with me is left behind... people say im not caring... mean selfish... but its not like that... i really care about people and i never wish bad for anyone.... the fact is that im like this .. if u run my speed u run with me.. if you are slower you are forgotten and left behind... no matter who....If you are faster ... i will never accept that you run faster than me.. but deep inside i will admire and make sure that i will be at your pace and will never cause inconvience to you.......
Manu Today ......
Looking at the moon .. i thought of my very tiny childhood days.... how my mother used to make me eat my dinner by making me look at this moon....... and the thoughts of my mother came running to me....
Its the same moon who witnessed the enjoyment which i had with my friends while i was in college ....How we used to roam around at night ... talk about endless things sitting out and pointless arguments...
And this moon beaming at the sea.... i feel how beautiful the colour is ....moonlight on the sea.... black with a little bit of moonlight.. which no great da vinci's canvas can capture.....Now I feel that life is important.... How each creatures are created ... a world in which a ""manu"" cannot be replaced by any other "" manu""....
How i feel that i left out the wonderful time which i was supposed to have on land... im not cursing the sea... but this sea makes me love the land more... so i love this sea more...How im missing the smell of earth when the rains... my earth .. the "nadumuttam" where i my feets got the strength to walk and run.... and how my home and land where i was born knowningly or unknowningly supplied me with all the necessary skills for my life ahead... a good home... good parents.. loving people around.....
How much i feel that i never ever loved back my friends as they used to love me....
How i feel that life was not enjoyed as it was supposed to be enjoyed..... i dont know.....
how i feel.... how i feel to go back in time and enjoy once more this most "intoxicating liquor"" called life....
what i do not know is that whether will this be my feeling when i die.....some say its the most important ... The last thought when you die... its not a lengthy sheet in which you calculate all your success and failures... its just a single thought... may be a smile... a thought "" Ohh .. great .... i lived this life..."" or say a smile... or a long laugh... which encapsulates all the essence that you did here... and i feel that little thought is what u call heaven and hell... a time which is the most important and wich fills the eternity...i would say it expands to fill in the eternal time....
WELL WHAT I WRITE HERE IS NOT ABOUT ME.....
Its about my thoughts which i had on this day....
And in this thoughts you can read me.. my love towards all.... my soul....i cannot gurantee the whole of me... but atleast a little bit of that baby who was born on the 11th of september.. who came into this world without any tears.....
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
FEAR AND AWAKENING
Well what I would like to say today is about a feeling. A feeling that reoccur everyday in my life. When I wake up . the first thing I think about is the job which I need to do. A lots of which is undone. And it is always undone for me. As if I will never stop working throughout my life.
Before I jump into the matter I would like to describe my bed. I mean the bed where I sleep. Its 1.5 meters X 2 meters. exactly fit for ME. And cozy. The AC in my cabin will be to the full so its freezing cold out . and then there is this thick blanket which I have which is very soft . softness which has instigated lots of dreams. I will be under this blanket covered ,as if in my mothers womb. And a tight sleep after a tiring day’s work.
Well to talk about the feeling which reoccurs every morning in my life is quite strange. I don’t know how many of you have felt that. By the time im about to wake up my body will be quite hot and cozy and I hate to feel the cold air outside. Then my partner as if a routine , I don’t know why he says this dialogue as if marrying someone is an easy task for him “ ehh manu thu idhar shadi karne ke liye aaya hai kya , abhe uuut , our upper aajaa sallee. “ hearing this mantra I wake up every night ( coz I work night shifts). Then he puts on the light and says minimum 5 strong fucks aimed at the workers saying this is undone, that’s need more thought and all. I hear all this and nod my head as if I abide to all what he say. And then making sure I have waked up he leaves to have his dinner (my break fast).
As soon as he leaves I slip under my blanket to make my body hot again, It has already lost its coziness due to the cold air coming in. Then my thought process starts.
Starting from all the things that needs to be done. I feel a fear. Not about the work that needs to be done but about leaving my bed. You know how warm and cozy it was. I was lying peacefully out there. And here I am about to wake up to start my job. Isn’t this the same feeling that new born babies have while he is out of his mother’s womb? He was so happy inside his mothers womb, warm cozy as if he is inside the “blanket” . but when he comes out he is into the cold world. And I feel that is the reason why all babies cry . they cry due to the fear that rules them while coming into this world. If they do not cry they are pinched by doc’s to make them cry. To tell him clear that here is the pain that u need to undergo to keep u breathing. like someone has said that its by enduring hardships you learn to live, you learn to succeed in life. And everyday in our lives this fear comes back, the same fear that we had when we were out from ours mother’s womb.
So it was today that I called home and asked my mom about my first journey to this world. And then I realized that I was a guy who never cried while I came out rather was pinched by doctor clement (he was my doc) to make me cry. So here I am cursing that day when he pinched me giving my first pain in life. Had it not been for that I would have reached there where I long liked to be. A man without fear.
Before I jump into the matter I would like to describe my bed. I mean the bed where I sleep. Its 1.5 meters X 2 meters. exactly fit for ME. And cozy. The AC in my cabin will be to the full so its freezing cold out . and then there is this thick blanket which I have which is very soft . softness which has instigated lots of dreams. I will be under this blanket covered ,as if in my mothers womb. And a tight sleep after a tiring day’s work.
Well to talk about the feeling which reoccurs every morning in my life is quite strange. I don’t know how many of you have felt that. By the time im about to wake up my body will be quite hot and cozy and I hate to feel the cold air outside. Then my partner as if a routine , I don’t know why he says this dialogue as if marrying someone is an easy task for him “ ehh manu thu idhar shadi karne ke liye aaya hai kya , abhe uuut , our upper aajaa sallee. “ hearing this mantra I wake up every night ( coz I work night shifts). Then he puts on the light and says minimum 5 strong fucks aimed at the workers saying this is undone, that’s need more thought and all. I hear all this and nod my head as if I abide to all what he say. And then making sure I have waked up he leaves to have his dinner (my break fast).
As soon as he leaves I slip under my blanket to make my body hot again, It has already lost its coziness due to the cold air coming in. Then my thought process starts.
Starting from all the things that needs to be done. I feel a fear. Not about the work that needs to be done but about leaving my bed. You know how warm and cozy it was. I was lying peacefully out there. And here I am about to wake up to start my job. Isn’t this the same feeling that new born babies have while he is out of his mother’s womb? He was so happy inside his mothers womb, warm cozy as if he is inside the “blanket” . but when he comes out he is into the cold world. And I feel that is the reason why all babies cry . they cry due to the fear that rules them while coming into this world. If they do not cry they are pinched by doc’s to make them cry. To tell him clear that here is the pain that u need to undergo to keep u breathing. like someone has said that its by enduring hardships you learn to live, you learn to succeed in life. And everyday in our lives this fear comes back, the same fear that we had when we were out from ours mother’s womb.
So it was today that I called home and asked my mom about my first journey to this world. And then I realized that I was a guy who never cried while I came out rather was pinched by doctor clement (he was my doc) to make me cry. So here I am cursing that day when he pinched me giving my first pain in life. Had it not been for that I would have reached there where I long liked to be. A man without fear.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
A secluded life
Well today is the day when i decided to start a blog. The reasons (well obviously i do all this for a reason because thats what my mechanical life has made me into, A reason seeking invincible idiot ) are solitude. Well i wont say lonliness because lonliness is pessimistic and solitude is positive.
Well currently im undergoing a positive lonliness or solitude in my life.The bliss of solitude. After the tiring work on deck,thinking about the forces and tensions that a structure may undergo while on installation,giving bizzare ideas as to how to install a structure i sit alone near the edge (yes its truly an edge ::: edge of life and death and i will tell you the reason later ) gazing the seas. It is then that thoughts come running to my mind and here i enjoy the bliss of solitude.Lost in thoughts a lot and lot of ideas come running to my mind.
So i decided to mark my thoughts in blog. You know im not a computer savy geek (infact i hate computers and thats the sole reason why i took up mechanical engineering as my major ) . But still i am really amazed at this world of blogging wherien we can communicate and put our thoughts for people to laugh,think,reject and rape.
Well its over for today but i will come again ... u know this is just the begining !!!!
Well currently im undergoing a positive lonliness or solitude in my life.The bliss of solitude. After the tiring work on deck,thinking about the forces and tensions that a structure may undergo while on installation,giving bizzare ideas as to how to install a structure i sit alone near the edge (yes its truly an edge ::: edge of life and death and i will tell you the reason later ) gazing the seas. It is then that thoughts come running to my mind and here i enjoy the bliss of solitude.Lost in thoughts a lot and lot of ideas come running to my mind.
So i decided to mark my thoughts in blog. You know im not a computer savy geek (infact i hate computers and thats the sole reason why i took up mechanical engineering as my major ) . But still i am really amazed at this world of blogging wherien we can communicate and put our thoughts for people to laugh,think,reject and rape.
Well its over for today but i will come again ... u know this is just the begining !!!!
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